Me? Shallow?

So what is so wrong with being shallow?

Girls never go for guys that have any depth to them. These are the guys that get made fun of in gym class and end up banking a ton of money starting some internet company.

It's easy to know what shallow guys want and need. No one ever has to guess as to what I mean when I say, "Gee, Carla! You look really nice today." Since I am shallow that means only one thing and if you can't figure it out you are probably wondering if Microsoft is going to have your pension ready for you when it's time to retire.

Being shallow means I have no ulterior motives and girls can dig that. There's no need for mind games and wondering if I should call or what I'm supposed to say. It's so much easier! Dating should not be hard work and if it is, then I'm not doing it right.

Plus, shallow guys get the hottest chicks anyway! Remember back in high school? The hottest cheerleader dated the hottest, shallowest guy on the football team, not the captain of the physics club.

And when you get older, you don't have to worry, because your girl already knows you're going to ditch her for a younger, hotter girl anyway. Younger girls dig older, more experienced men, right? Especially if you shave your head and have a sexy voice. (That voice coach worked wonders on me!)

So please, don't think about it too hard. The choice should already be made up for you: being shallow is the only way to go.