Fear and Hope

Fear of the unknown is a terribly hopeless feeling. Even the best foresight cannot predict with one hundred percent accuracy events yet to pass. Despite the fear that typically accompanies the future, we do have an ally that can provide a measure of peace: hope. As long as hope exists fear cannot conquer and control. However, if nothing is unknown (i.e., everything is known) neither fear nor hope exist, but knowledge.

To mortals in the current universe, dimension and condition we have a knowledge of past and present, though the future still eludes us and, hence, fear and hope persist. If you could know the future would you want to? Would you be willing to give up fear and hope for knowledge?

Carnivorous Thunder

Rambling

Last night, between 11 pm and 2 am, I got to know Cliff and Sarah as they examined their relationship in room 214 of an inexpensive northwest Houston motel.

Last week Sarah found some other girl's phone number on Cliff's cell phone. He claims it's a girl with whom he works and for whom he feels nothing. Apparently, Sarah has been unaccounted for between the time she gets off work and the time she arrives home and last night she came back very drunk. Cliff was upset she spent her money on booze (when she said she wouldn't) and that she came home with a guy's phone number written on her hand. She was adamant that the phone number belonged to the cook where she works, but she couldn't tell Cliff why she had his number on her hand except that she needed it because he's the cook. Later she said she had this guy's number memorized, so I am unsure why she needed it written on her hand. She also admitted that she had spent time at this other guy's house.

Sarah mentioned Cliff's crack use and asked why he had coke in the room. Cliff threw back at Sarah that she had told him that her friends are "meth heads."

After much yelling and cussing, Sarah gave back the engagement ring and stormed out of the room...three times.

I sure hope they work things out.

Blog of Note

This entry is not really noteworthy, it is just a note that it has been over a month since my last entry. I wouldn't call it procrastination - it's really just laziness. There is a difference and one of these days I will get around to explaining it.

Door to Heaven

Carefully examining the intricate engravings on the ancient stone wall, Dr. Francis runs his weary, calloused fingers over the pictographs. Just as he is about to take a picture, all of the lights fail and he is left in utter darkness. He freezes in place, his arms still holding the camera. For the first few moments the stale, warm, musty air seems to close in on the archaeologist, tightening like a fist around his body. Suddenly the fist releases its grip and a gentle cool breeze pushes the stankness away. Where is the fresh air coming from, Dr. Francis wonders.

I Have a Dream

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But 100 years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men - yes, black men as well as white men - would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice. We have also come to his hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end but a beginning. Those who hoped that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "for whites only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today my friends - so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification - one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day, this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning "My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my father's died, land of the Pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring!"

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi - from every mountainside.

Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring - when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children - black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics - will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., delivered at rally for "jobs and freedom" on steps of Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. on August 28, 1963

Gettysburg Address

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln, delivered at dedication of Soldiers' National Cemetery in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania on November 19,1863

JFK's Inaugural Address

Vice President Johnson, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Chief Justice, President Eisenhower, Vice President Nixon, President Truman, reverend clergy, fellow citizens, we observe today not a victory of party, but a celebration of freedom—symbolizing an end, as well as a beginning—signifying renewal, as well as change. For I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three quarters ago.

The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life. And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe—the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God.

We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

This much we pledge—and more.

To those old allies whose cultural and spiritual origins we share, we pledge the loyalty of faithful friends. United, there is little we cannot do in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided, there is little we can do—for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder.

To those new States whom we welcome to the ranks of the free, we pledge our word that one form of colonial control shall not have passed away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. We shall not always expect to find them supporting our view. But we shall always hope to find them strongly supporting their own freedom—and to remember that, in the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside.

To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves, for whatever period is required—not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.

To our sister republics south of our border, we offer a special pledge—to convert our good words into good deeds—in a new alliance for progress—to assist free men and free governments in casting off the chains of poverty. But this peaceful revolution of hope cannot become the prey of hostile powers. Let all our neighbors know that we shall join with them to oppose aggression or subversion anywhere in the Americas. And let every other power know that this Hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own house.

To that world assembly of sovereign states, the United Nations, our last best hope in an age where the instruments of war have far outpaced the instruments of peace, we renew our pledge of support—to prevent it from becoming merely a forum for invective—to strengthen its shield of the new and the weak—and to enlarge the area in which its writ may run.

Finally, to those nations who would make themselves our adversary, we offer not a pledge but a request: that both sides begin anew the quest for peace, before the dark powers of destruction unleashed by science engulf all humanity in planned or accidental self-destruction.

We dare not tempt them with weakness. For only when our arms are sufficient beyond doubt can we be certain beyond doubt that they will never be employed.

But neither can two great and powerful groups of nations take comfort from our present course—both sides overburdened by the cost of modern weapons, both rightly alarmed by the steady spread of the deadly atom, yet both racing to alter that uncertain balance of terror that stays the hand of mankind's final war.

So let us begin anew—remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us.

Let both sides, for the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals for the inspection and control of arms—and bring the absolute power to destroy other nations under the absolute control of all nations.

Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.

Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth the command of Isaiah—to "undo the heavy burdens ... and to let the oppressed go free."

And if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.

All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.

In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than in mine, will rest the final success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe.

Now the trumpet summons us again—not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though embattled we are—but a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation"—a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself.

Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will you join in that historic effort?

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it—and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own.

Source: John F. Kennedy, Inaugural Address, January 20, 1961, as published in Bicentennial edition, Inaugural Addresses of the Presidents of the United States: from George Washington to George W. Bush, 2001 (Bartleby.com)

FDR's Inaugural Address

I am certain that my fellow Americans expect that on my induction into the Presidency I will address them with a candor and a decision which the present situation of our people impel. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days.

In such a spirit on my part and on yours we face our common difficulties. They concern, thank God, only material things. Values have shrunken to fantastic levels; taxes have risen; our ability to pay has fallen; government of all kinds is faced by serious curtailment of income; the means of exchange are frozen in the currents of trade; the withered leaves of industrial enterprise lie on every side; farmers find no markets for their produce; the savings of many years in thousands of families are gone.

More important, a host of unemployed citizens face the grim problem of existence, and an equally great number toil with little return. Only a foolish optimist can deny the dark realities of the moment.

Yet our distress comes from no failure of substance. We are stricken by no plague of locusts. Compared with the perils which our forefathers conquered because they believed and were not afraid, we have still much to be thankful for. Nature still offers her bounty and human efforts have multiplied it. Plenty is at our doorstep, but a generous use of it languishes in the very sight of the supply. Primarily this is because the rulers of the exchange of mankind’s goods have failed, through their own stubbornness and their own incompetence, have admitted their failure, and abdicated. Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts and minds of men.

True they have tried, but their efforts have been cast in the pattern of an outworn tradition. Faced by failure of credit they have proposed only the lending of more money. Stripped of the lure of profit by which to induce our people to follow their false leadership, they have resorted to exhortations, pleading tearfully for restored confidence. They know only the rules of a generation of self-seekers. They have no vision, and when there is no vision the people perish.

The money changers have fled from their high seats in the temple of our civilization. We may now restore that temple to the ancient truths. The measure of the restoration lies in the extent to which we apply social values more noble than mere monetary profit.

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. The joy and moral stimulation of work no longer must be forgotten in the mad chase of evanescent profits. These dark days will be worth all they cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be ministered unto but to minister to ourselves and to our fellow men.

Recognition of the falsity of material wealth as the standard of success goes hand in hand with the abandonment of the false belief that public office and high political position are to be valued only by the standards of pride of place and personal profit; and there must be an end to a conduct in banking and in business which too often has given to a sacred trust the likeness of callous and selfish wrongdoing. Small wonder that confidence languishes, for it thrives only on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection, on unselfish performance; without them it cannot live.

Restoration calls, however, not for changes in ethics alone. This Nation asks for action, and action now.

Our greatest primary task is to put people to work. This is no unsolvable problem if we face it wisely and courageously. It can be accomplished in part by direct recruiting by the Government itself, treating the task as we would treat the emergency of a war, but at the same time, through this employment, accomplishing greatly needed projects to stimulate and reorganize the use of our natural resources.

Hand in hand with this we must frankly recognize the overbalance of population in our industrial centers and, by engaging on a national scale in a redistribution, endeavor to provide a better use of the land for those best fitted for the land. The task can be helped by definite efforts to raise the values of agricultural products and with this the power to purchase the output of our cities. It can be helped by preventing realistically the tragedy of the growing loss through foreclosure of our small homes and our farms. It can be helped by insistence that the Federal, State, and local governments act forthwith on the demand that their cost be drastically reduced. It can be helped by the unifying of relief activities which today are often scattered, uneconomical, and unequal. It can be helped by national planning for and supervision of all forms of transportation and of communications and other utilities which have a definitely public character. There are many ways in which it can be helped, but it can never be helped merely by talking about it. We must act and act quickly.

Finally, in our progress toward a resumption of work we require two safeguards against a return of the evils of the old order; there must be a strict supervision of all banking and credits and investments; there must be an end to speculation with other people’s money, and there must be provision for an adequate but sound currency.

There are the lines of attack. I shall presently urge upon a new Congress in special session detailed measures for their fulfillment, and I shall seek the immediate assistance of the several States.

Through this program of action we address ourselves to putting our own national house in order and making income balance outgo. Our international trade relations, though vastly important, are in point of time and necessity secondary to the establishment of a sound national economy. I favor as a practical policy the putting of first things first. I shall spare no effort to restore world trade by international economic readjustment, but the emergency at home cannot wait on that accomplishment.

The basic thought that guides these specific means of national recovery is not narrowly nationalistic. It is the insistence, as a first consideration, upon the interdependence of the various elements in all parts of the United States—a recognition of the old and permanently important manifestation of the American spirit of the pioneer. It is the way to recovery. It is the immediate way. It is the strongest assurance that the recovery will endure.

In the field of world policy I would dedicate this Nation to the policy of the good neighbor—the neighbor who resolutely respects himself and, because he does so, respects the rights of others—the neighbor who respects his obligations and respects the sanctity of his agreements in and with a world of neighbors.

If I read the temper of our people correctly, we now realize as we have never realized before our interdependence on each other; that we can not merely take but we must give as well; that if we are to go forward, we must move as a trained and loyal army willing to sacrifice for the good of a common discipline, because without such discipline no progress is made, no leadership becomes effective. We are, I know, ready and willing to submit our lives and property to such discipline, because it makes possible a leadership which aims at a larger good. This I propose to offer, pledging that the larger purposes will bind upon us all as a sacred obligation with a unity of duty hitherto evoked only in time of armed strife.

With this pledge taken, I assume unhesitatingly the leadership of this great army of our people dedicated to a disciplined attack upon our common problems.

Action in this image and to this end is feasible under the form of government which we have inherited from our ancestors. Our Constitution is so simple and practical that it is possible always to meet extraordinary needs by changes in emphasis and arrangement without loss of essential form. That is why our constitutional system has proved itself the most superbly enduring political mechanism the modern world has produced. It has met every stress of vast expansion of territory, of foreign wars, of bitter internal strife, of world relations.

It is to be hoped that the normal balance of executive and legislative authority may be wholly adequate to meet the unprecedented task before us. But it may be that an unprecedented demand and need for undelayed action may call for temporary departure from that normal balance of public procedure.

I am prepared under my constitutional duty to recommend the measures that a stricken nation in the midst of a stricken world may require. These measures, or such other measures as the Congress may build out of its experience and wisdom, I shall seek, within my constitutional authority, to bring to speedy adoption.

But in the event that the Congress shall fail to take one of these two courses, and in the event that the national emergency is still critical, I shall not evade the clear course of duty that will then confront me. I shall ask the Congress for the one remaining instrument to meet the crisis—broad Executive power to wage a war against the emergency, as great as the power that would be given to me if we were in fact invaded by a foreign foe.

For the trust reposed in me I will return the courage and the devotion that befit the time. I can do no less.

We face the arduous days that lie before us in the warm courage of the national unity; with the clear consciousness of seeking old and precious moral values; with the clean satisfaction that comes from the stern performance of duty by old and young alike. We aim at the assurance of a rounded and permanent national life.

We do not distrust the future of essential democracy. The people of the United States have not failed. In their need they have registered a mandate that they want direct, vigorous action. They have asked for discipline and direction under leadership. They have made me the present instrument of their wishes. In the spirit of the gift I take it.

In this dedication of a Nation we humbly ask the blessing of God. May He protect each and every one of us. May He guide me in the days to come.

Source: Franklin D. Roosevelt, Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933, as published in Samuel Rosenman, ed., The Public Papers of Franklin D. Roosevelt, Volume Two: The Year of Crisis, 1933 (New York: Random House, 1938), 11–16.

Yoda's Resume

Name: Yoda

Current Occupation: Jedi Master teaching from beyond the grave, Philosopher

Employment Objective: To obtain gainful employment within the unionized work force of the meat packing industry

Education: Due to the millenia that have passed between graduation and present time, education is irrelevant

Employment History:

• Jedi Master/Trainer - Up to the time of death, trained Luke Skywalker to become Jedi Knight. Despite Skywalker's fears, anger, and stubbornness, Yoda was able to help his student learn to control the Force more acutely.
• Hermit - Between the time of Darth Vader's turn to the Dark Side and the time when Skywalker found him in a swamp on Dagobah, Yoda practiced housekeeping, humming, gardening, sleeping, walking with a cane, and growing unusually long hair in unusual places. Had access been available, Yoda would have achieved 'Master' status for each of these activities.
• Jedi Master/General - During the Clone Wars, Yoda was a key figure in leading his soldiers in battle, as well as rescuing other notable figures who achieve fame in future Star Wars Episodes. It was during this time that Yoda acquired his taste for pink cotton candy and his love of eau de pond scum.
• Jedi Master/Council Member - Sitting on the Jedi Council, Yoda forewarned Obe Wan Kenobe and Anakin Skywalker of the impending doom facing everyone. They should have listened. Other notable trainees include Count Dooku, Mace Windu, Obe Wan Kenobe, Ki Adi Mundi, and Master Oppo Rancisis.
• Jedi Master/Academy Teacher - Aboard starship Chu'unthor, Yoda taught numerous pupils of the Force and how to use it for good. He was also noted for his flirtatious behavior with the female school nurse who stood a full seven feet taller than he.
• Jedi Master - Becoming one with the force, Yoda has been universally recognized as the most omnipotent and omniscious of all Jedi; however, the rank of Jedi Master only came after training San Qi Guonkow to become a Jedi Knight.
• Recluse - After completing Jedi training, Yoda spent a century in self-imposed solitude to become one with the Force. His butt also became one with the chair and he thought of using a chainsaw to free himself before he realized he just needed to trust his feelings.
• Jedi Knight - Successful completion of Yoda's training as a Jedi earned him honors and a new convertible VW Rabbit.
• Jedi Padawan - No official record exists to provide evidence of Yoda's experience as a Padawan, though many historians agree that geological record and fossil clues indicate he was trained under Miso Yako Urdu.
• Jedi Apprentice - No official record has been kept and Yoda himself does not remember this time of his life, most likely due to the tremendous amount of time he spent at keggers in the dorms.
• Janitor - Although reluctant to admit this position, Yoda's first job was cleaning up the bantha fodder at the Tusken Raiders' breeding farms on Tatooine. During his first year there, he met Buddha and decided to create a Jedi religion. Though many scholars argue that the Jedi sect has existed for tens of thousands of years, this claim cannot be proven as no universally acceptable or recognized record of Jedis exist before Yoda.

Skills:

• Telekinesis
• Foresight/Prophecy
• Nirvana
• Empathy
• Lightsaberist
• Ataru
• Gymnastics
• Knitting
• Public Speaking
• Plumbing

Interests:

• Rock climbing
• Cross dressing
• Ouija boards
• Etymology
• Oncology
• Linux

To what end

Dearest dear of all, end of all ends, beginning without end, end without beginning and eternal sunshine of the forgetful mindless reader. Comings and goings often cease, while incomplete shadows contunue to flutter on the uneven ground. Atomic movement slows and subatomic particles debate their existence. Does it really matter? Why not? Order in chaos and randomness in a seemingly orderly fashion appear to be contradictory but somehow it all makes sense in the end...whatever that might be.

Losing Brain Cells

Why is it that some people drink so much and get so wasted, yet they don't think they're drunk at all? Why do people get drunk in the first place? Is it fun to not remember anything you do? Is it so great to get a hangover? I don't understand what's so cool about getting drunk, unless you're the sober one laughing at the inebriated.

Onomatopoeia

Why is it that everyone has their own way of spelling meow, or ruff, or even weirder sounds like when you're at the auto shop and you're trying to communicate to the mechanic the sound your car was making. You might be making weird robot clunking noises and you see on the form/ticket, the mechanic writes, "abnormal sound from transmission." That may be how you write it in Iowa, but I would think it should be spelled, "thud, schllllllllllllunkuptsssss, clug, clug, clug, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, thud." Who is it that formalizes words that represent sounds We say meow but in Spanish, the verb to meow is maullar (pronounced mah-oh-yahr or Mah-oh-zhar). There are a lot of other words that have been formally placed in the dictionary without any input from us common folk who actually use it. Thank goodness we don't have to write them down. I also think my last blog is carrying over into this one, so maybe it's time to find the snooze button on my brain.

Sleepwaking

Some days, late at night, and sometimes even in late afternoon (usually around 16:00 hours) I feel my mind wandering, my consciousness seems to wane and flicker. During those times, my eyelids gain 50 pounds instantly and I am forced to stop, forced to calm down, and forced to breathe, to relax. Visions of sleep beckon me on. My body complies, but my mind fights compliance. Without thinking I think. Trying to force my self to think, I think. Trying to think of nothing, I think of something and that something leads to another something and causes a series of events that, if left unchecked, might disturb the space-time continuum...although it might just make me lose out on more sleep, yet again. Water is more precious than gold to the thirsty traveler, fighting off dry mouth as he or she comes in from a day under the scorching the desert. I envy those who fall asleep quickly. I envy those who stay asleep all night. I envy those who feel refreshed after waking. Yet with more effort to shut off my brain, more effort is spent pushing me back into consciousness. So as I spend my nights thinking of nonsensical, whimsical, and sometimes episcopal topics, I wonder how long until sleep feels charitable enough to take me into its folds and warmth to drift in to that boundary that separates the living from the dreaming. I can almost see it, here it comes...Aaaah!.......zzz........

Sugar Sweet

Sugar sweetness pumping through my veins. Getting high on pure granulated cane sugar is not an easy task nor is it for a weak stomach. Carbohydrates lurk behind every wrapper and within that velvety smooth chocolate. Constantly bombarded by fructose, lactose, sucrose and other -oses, a hero is needed, someone to save us from obesity and heart disease. Will no one cook or bake anything that tastes wonderful but is nutrional? Probably not. That's where I come in. If you have a sugar infestation in your house, if twinkies are taking control of your pantry and caramel is holding your chocolate hostage, just call me and I'll be there. No sugar stands a chance against me...as long as there are no nuts, except for maybe peanuts. In fact peanut butter M&Ms are easy prey. Others may live in fear, but fear no longer shall persist as Le Chocolatier is here!

Making a Living of Mediocrity

Do you remember the kid in high school who never studied and got straight A's on everything? The one who could memorize and remember just about anything? There was always one person who never misspelled a word, who wrote with perfect grammar, got 100 percent on all the math tests, picked up foreign languages quickly, played sports well, etc. It seemed there was nothing this kid couldn't do.

I am that kid. Everthing seemed to come so easily, so naturally. I couldn't understand why others needed to spend hours reviewing and studying the same thing and scored 83 on the test the next day. Maybe they just didn't have common sense or logic, I thought. If I ever scored less than perfect, it was usually due to me speeding through and making a stupid mistake.

During my college years, I kept up my study habits and it worked well for a time. But the time came when there was something I didn't understand and I couldn't make myself study and review for more than 15 - 30 minutes at a time. I just could not do it. My brain would not let me study or I'd go crazy. I get restless focusing on one thing for too long.

It's funny how my mind can relate two subjects that apparently have nothing in common, but that's what I do. I learn something of everything and find some sort of commonality in them. I never become an expert in one thing. As I said, I can't sit myself down to focus on one thing for very long. As a result, I probably have an above average understanding of many different things, more than most people. There are experts in any given field and my knowledge/understanding pales in comparison. But compared to everyone else, it appears that I know all about it. Myabe I know enough of so many things, that I can fake my intelligence with people who don't specialize in that field.

What creates a challenge then is trying to figure out how to make a career out of this. How can I get paid to do something like this to support my family? What sort of employment would I love? Am I doomed to never be truly good at something?

Infinity

For quite some time, I was confused by – what I thought was - a simple question that involved limits, infinity, and asymptotes. In Algebra, everyone learned that when you graph the function y = 1 / x, you have a result with asymptotes, or sections where the graph appears to be approaching zero from different directions, but never really reaches there…or does it?

Everyone has probably also been over the fact that dividing 1 by half, then by half again, over and over the result approaches zero, but shouldn’t ever really get to zero. If you divide it in half an infinite number of times, you get so close to zero, you are practically at zero.

Which then leads to my confusion: if you are driving towards an oxygen molecule a mile away, you get closer and closer and closer, but at what point can you not get any closer? If you think of it, no matter how close the car gets to that oxygen molecule without touching it, there is an infinitely small distance that can be covered. So the car goes half the distance. Again, there is still more space that can be covered. Either the car is touching the molecule or not, right? Is it a truly this dichotomous? Is it so digital that there really is no such thing as analog? Does a baseball slow down when it is hit after being pitched, or does it instantaneously go from 100 mph one direction to 120 mph in another? How does that work?

One of the things I remember from physics is that the car and the oxygen molecule would never really touch, but the molecules on an atomic level would be close. My friend and I joked that when you kiss a girl, you really aren’t touching her because the molecules would be repelling each other. Although it’s funny, it’s still a serious question for which I want an answer I understand.

English Scoundrels!

Have you ever noticed how common an English accent is in movies? Although the actors themselves are usually American, they speak with an accent if the film is set in a foreign country or if the character being portrayed is a villain.

Instead of speaking Italian for a film set in Italy or Russian for a film set in Russia, they actors speak with an English accent, as if that is supposed to clue us in as to their native language. What happens when this Italian immigrant goes to London? Do they all speak with the same accent? Does the immigrant hold up subtitles?

What type of stereotype is being compounded by having only villains speak with an accent? I don't get it.

Is This Too Deep? Not Deep Enough?

One of the questions that everyone seems to have, whether Christian, agnostic, atheist, or Jew: if God exists and we are His children, why does he let bad things happen to good people? And on the flip side, why does he let good things happen to bad people? Yes, you can argue that going through hard times are learning experiences and where you learn to define yourself, but that doesn't say anything as to why good things happen to bad people. Karma isn't judgmental about who it decides to work for or against, does it?

Believing in God could be seen as a way for us to validate our own existence. No one likes to think of humans as being related to monkeys or as a link in the evolutionary chain. We want our existence to have meaning rather than being an accident. If there is no god, it means me sitting at this computer is just a part of evolution and maybe in the next million years my descendents will be fly-eating trees.

If there is a god, it means our creation was with a purpose, it means we are more than a monkey's uncle. For all those who suffer and still try to do the "right" thing, belief in God gives their suffering a purpose, knowing that they will be rewarded in the life to come. But again, the question arises as to why these good people are made to suffer. What purpose is there in making the wicked powerful and successful? To read more questions this raises, see my 'Comfortably Numb', blog.